You can whistle a tune
Buy a balloon
You can even eat a bagel with a silver spoon
But you just can't eat hot soup with your bare hands

You can hang like a bat
Dance with your cat
You can even use your undies as a pirate hat
But you just can't eat hot soup with your bare hands

So if you want to keep out of hot water
If you want to find yourself top dog in the catbird seat
Then don't you try to do what you ought not to
Better concentrate on doin' the things you can

You can pickle a prune
Rent a raccoon
Dig yourself a swimmin' pool with Sun Myung Moon
But you just can't eat hot soup with your bare hands

Give Edgar Winter a tan
Swim to Azerbaijan
Do "The Macarena" with the Wu-Tang Clan
But you just can't eat hot soup with your bare hands

So you don't play ball like Sammy Sosa
So you'll never fly to Toronto, rent a Miata, drive to the border, and go in a barrel down Niagra Falls
The negative should not be dwelt on, no sir
Better concentrate on doin' the things you can
(you the man!) (or the woman!)
And you just can't eat hot soup with your bare hands

Vegetable! Alphabet! Chicken noodle! Spaghettios!
Matzoh ball! Split pea! Minestrone! Tom Kha Gai!
Leeky leeky! Wonton! Gazpacho!

You just can't eat hot soup
You just can't eat hot soup
You just can't eat hot soup
You just can't eat hot soup
You just can't eat hot soup with your bare hands!