"Hey you" she said
"I think that I have something in my eye"
And she posed beneath the standard lamp
As her clothes waved goodbye
And she was
Naked as a new apology
For something she hadn't yet done
And he said "Did I ever tell you the one about
The Original Miss Jesus?"

"Born before
Her more famous little brother Mister Christ
Sure, there were miracles
But out of the public eye
So they didn't
Think even to have her crucified
She just wrote some novels and then she died
And only her family cried for her
The Original Miss Jesus

And then he came
The one that they wrote all the books about
The King of the Rock Opera
Whom she could do without"

"Stop!" she said
"Jesus could have been a boy or girl
History would still have been unkind
If he'd been a her
Anyway
Just watch me turn this beer into air
As for Redemption Value, I don't care
But if you want, I'll even pretend to be
The Original Miss Jesus"

So she was
The saviour
Of that sad and lonely room.